The Blissful Salinger

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Spent most of my alone time this week binging Succession, read Genesis, and plan the Kyoto trip - in exactly that order and portion. Haven't read another page of "War and Peace" as I'd hope to. Tried to make changes to my screenplay but something feels off. Am I done with this project? Should I move on or should I give up?

What am I going to do in Japan? I like the feeling of not knowing of where I’m going to be tomorrow, even thought that means paying more for a hotel. Money is irrelevant when you’re just living and experiencing things around you. Somehow that level of not knowing always bring me back to Asia. I’ll see Peter and Lok in Hong Kong, De and W in Tokyo. My Tokyo friends are transitioning. Nothing is as good as that wonderful Fall evening in Shinjuku where the three of us drank and laughed. The point of traveling is to be reminded of how others in the world are suffering. It’s not about feeling better or appreciate cultures, it’s about living. Living with the understanding we’ll never truly know another person no matter how hard we try. But that’s ok. Just be genuine to another human being. Do it alone, and don’t post photos. That way you’d remember them. 

I dream about Hanoi, Siem Reap and Bangkok. I remember smiles of the children in the morning. I remember the pouring rain and the mud. 

Went to the New York Public Library’s Salinger exhibition. He was drunk on Vedanta philosophy, but even then he knew that’s just an unsustainable felling of happiness in this “bliss reality”, as he wrote to his son. Surprised to learn he was an ardent film viewer, had copies of “39 Steps” and “The Lady Vanishes” in film print and VHS — not sure why. He even updated to a DVD machine at some point. What other movies does Holden Caulfield like? I’ll never know. 

“I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. But immediately. You can't afford to lose a minute. Not you.” 

Not me. I can’t afford to waste anymore time. 

June 2019. Bangkok.

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