Tien's.

在香港跟 Lok 晃了一天之後跟 Peter and Ivan 吃飯。有一次來出差到中環也是早上一個人 到蓮香，想不清是哪一次了，這幾年到九龍比到布魯克林還頻繁，應該在遺忘之前更勤奮地紀錄旅行生活。 然後我好奇地看著遮打道上被包覆的銀行和被蓋過的政治塗鴉。這星期出來的人多了， Lok 說，感覺一切稍微回復正常。但正常是什麼誰也說不準。午飯時 Ivan 跟我說他搭 transsiberia 橫跨半個西伯利亞的旅行，空少的世界真是美好，總有下一個目的地。我這幾年好像是用旅行在逃避創作。 飛機上看了 “Ano Hi No Orugan” 和 “The Nikaido's Fall” 。看 Organ 的時候好像有泛淚，雖然電影其實普通。 夜晚到了巴士停駛的羽田機場。坐 Monorail 到東京車站跟趙容碰面。隔天到台場看展，到菊川找廖，回憶以前劇藝的日子，我在高雄只待兩年但是那些時光記憶猶新，這對一個入關時會忘記自己從哪個國家飛來的人來說很難得。 但是中打越來越慢，中文能力越來越差。三十歲的大家都在退化嗎？如果失去記憶也就失去存在的意義了。 How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. 在京都的第三天晚上我抱著稍微好轉的腸胃炎（是前一晚的飯團嗎？）跟趙容從四条走到二年板。七八點街道濡濕一個人也沒有。千年的老街燈光黯淡連照片都拍不出來。我們興奮地繞寂靜的古街道，聊著三島由紀夫和川端康成，我對金閣寺的印象比雪國清楚很多，這代表我其實有點反社會嗎？狹窄的石板路讓她想到秘魯的庫斯科，也是深山和連夜的雨，不過那裡有成群的野狗和汽車。我想起山居秋暝但無論如何記不起詳細的詞句，只記得有一句關於洗衣婦山裡說話聲的意境，回去才找到。對不起台灣的中文教育，肖惠姊一定對我很失望。 明月松間照，清泉石上流。 竹喧歸浣女，蓮動下漁舟。 飯後到一間叫 L’Esca Moteur 的雞尾酒吧喝清酒加奇異果的 Zen and Stone （太甜）。在紐澳良出生南法長大巴黎度過大部分時光的法國女酒保一面抽菸一面跟我們有一搭沒一搭地聊天，推薦我們一間京都最好的 Flat White (Len) 但我們一早要坐新幹線回東京，而且我...

Spent most of my alone time this week binging Succession, read Genesis, and plan the Kyoto trip - in exactly that order and portion. Haven't read another page of "War and Peace" as I'd hope to. Tried to make changes to my screenplay but something feels off. Am I done with this project? Should I move on or should I give up? What am I going to do in Japan? I like the feeling of not knowing of where I’m going to be tomorrow, even thought that means paying more for a hotel. Money is irrelevant when you’re just living and experiencing things around you. Somehow that level of not knowing always bring me back to Asia. I’ll see Peter and Lok in Hong Kong, De and W in Tokyo. My Tokyo friends are transitioning. Nothing is as good as that wonderful Fall evening in Shinjuku where the three of us drank and laughed. The point of traveling is to be reminded of how others in the world are suffering. It’s not about feeling better or appreciate cultures, it’s about living. Living ...

The end of the first week. For Him and for me. And you. Another week out of the way. Many more to go.  Two days later. My initial reaction has turned from joy to a sense of urgency. The time is ticking. I need to do good. Get my act together.  The job is whatever. I didn’t want to be the manager of a two-person team, just didn’t think me being true to my words would come back to bite me. I haven’t and will never speak corporate language. Do you really want to do this forever by sacrificing integrity, relationship, and time with your three kids, my friend? I’ll tell you now it’s not worth it.  I would like to visit all of my favorite places on earth all over again, but on my own account. A creative project. A lasting friendship.  Now is the time to start.  I had a dream last night where I was leaving the small town I grew up, I looked up the familiar storefronts and the evening sky with tears in my eyes. As I reached into my bag for m...